Shōnen
by Winter's Melancholy
Summary: 'This is no manga. The story doesn't end when the girl says 'yes'. You are not entitled to your happy ending unless you earn it.' For buttercupbella. Happy Belated Birthday, and Merry (early) Christmas.


'_This is no manga. The story doesn't end when the girl says 'yes'. You are not entitled to your happy ending unless you earn it.'_

_**Disclaimed.**_

* * *

"Koko, we need to talk."

_And there she goes again. How many of these talks have we had already?_

"Koko, I'm serious this time. I really can't do this anymore."

_And I'm __**serious**__ about being in love with you. Why don't you see that?_

"Ten years, Koko. _Ten_ years."

_Has it really been that long?_

"I don't know what to say anymore, Koko. I just want…"

_What do you want from me? I don't know anymore. I really don't._

"What happened to you? What happened to that cute, charming seventeen-year-old childhood friend that I fell in love with? What happened to that humorous idiot that could say 'I love you' with dead seriousness and make me completely weak? What happened to that self-assured partner I could rely on?"

_There you go again with the compliments in past tense. _

"_Goddamn_ it, Koko. Say something!"

_What do you even want me to say? I love you? I need you? I've done that every day of my life for the past ten years. What more do you want from me? A bed of roses?_

"Koko, we've been together for so long. I could take your fooling around back when we were still skirting around the topic like a bunch of love-struck idiots, but _reality check_. We're _twenty-seven_ now."

_Why does age even matter? It's just a number._

_Bite back that comment, Koko. You know it's just going to piss her off even more._

"Don't just _stand_ there, you idiot!"

_Don't look at me like that. I don't like that scornful look._

I miss that smile of yours.

"Koko, are you even serious about us anymore? Have you _ever_ been serious?"

_I'm in love with you. Isn't being in love enough?_

"My feelings are not a joke, _damn it_. I've stayed with you for so long, and all I've seen you do is screw around. Have you really ever considered our relationship seriously at all?"

_I treat you like a princess. Of course I'm serious._

"Koko."

_Stop that. I hate that tone. _

"You've given me ten _fucking_ years of lip-service, Koko. Have you ever really considered me as anything more than just a romantic _friend_?"

_I lay my heart bare for you every single day. I try my hardest to make you happy._

"We're not in high school anymore, Koko. This _love_ thing isn't just dates and balloons and chocolates anymore. It's not all rainbows and sunshine, and stupid little cheesy walks in the park. _Not anymore._"

_And yet, we were so happy back then, weren't we?_

"You need to stop this… This _damned indecision_ of yours. We're children no longer."

_My heart is yours. Isn't that enough?_

"That's just you trying to placate me. You know it."

_Weren't we made for each other?_

"_Bull_. We've never been the ideal pair, and you know that."

_We've been together for ten years._

"That's _exactly_ why. You're not getting any younger, Koko. _I'm_ not getting any younger."

_We're still young._

"And when will you get it into that thick skull of yours that _dating_ isn't going to give us a life together?"

_But, we're still young._

"We aren't, Koko! Look at Natsume and Mikan!"

_Stop comparing. Why are you comparing?_

"They've been _married_ for three years already. We've been together longer than they have, and you're still flirting with the idea of proposing. That is, if you were even _considering_ it, to begin with."

_There it is. That word. _

"What is it? Don't give me that blank look."

_I can't do this._

"Even Kitsu's gotten it in his head to make his girlfriend his fiancé. _Kitsu_, Koko."

_Clench fists. Unclench fists._

_Stop comparing. I'm not ready._

"What are you going to say? You're not ready? Not prepared?"

_That's precisely it. I can't. I can't commit._

"Is it really that much of a leap of faith, Koko? I _want_ to be your bride. I _want_ a life with you. Is getting married really that difficult?"

_I can't imagine a life like that._

"You can't- what?"

_I can't. I just can't._

"So… All these years… What have all these years meant to you? Have they all been some kind of sick game? Some long, elaborate, and twisted prank? Is that it, Koko? _Is that it_?"

_Your slap stings almost as much as that accusation. _

_Then again, maybe I __**do **__deserve it._

"What's with the silence?"

_I have no right to speak._

"So my heart has _really_ been your toy for the past ten years, then? Just some stupid _yo-yo_ you thought you could play around with?"

_I love you._

"Then why won't you-"

_I can't._

"You're not making sense anymore, Koko."

_It's not you. It's me._

"Blaming yourself won't get you anywhere."

_I can't do this. Stop making me do something I don't want to._

"Koko, I want to be happy. I want to be happy _with_ _you._"

_Can't we have bliss without a wedding? We're fine as-is._

"You're lying through your teeth. We are most definitely _not_ fine. I want _a future_, Koko. I want _kids_. I want a _house_. I want to wake up with _you_ by my side _every day_. Is something like that so hard?"

_There is no way I am ready for that._

"Our time is running shorter each day you choose to doubt yourself, _idiot._"

_I know that._

"You don't seem to."

_I know it. I just don't want to __**recognize **__it, damn it._

"What are you, a kid?"

_Maybe I just don't want to grow up. _

_Are you trying to say you don't love me anymore because of that?_

"I _do_ love you, Koko. But as much as I can spend my days idly going _'I love you'_, all that hot air is going to go nowhere if we- no, if _you_ don't grow up and take responsibility."

_You sound like mom._

"Koko, you need to let go of your immaturity."

_I don't want to be an adult. Not yet._

"The clock's ticking, Koko. Time is _not_ on our side. You can't keep wasting precious minutes on these childish fantasies."

_But we were perfectly happy. We were in love. You said 'yes', and then we did so many happy things. Can't it just remain like this?_

"Koko, those are memories from an age _long past._ You have to _grow up_."

_And what if I refuse?_

"Clinging on to those childish, idealistic views will get you nowhere, Koko. _Nowhere._"

_Nowhere is better than uncharted territory._

"So you're going to remain a kid because that's what makes you happy? Because that's what causes you the least fear?"

_Even if you put it that way, I don't want to let go of that life. Not yet. I'm not ready. I __**know**__ I'm not ready._

"And when will you ever be ready? I don't have _forever._ I don't."

_It won't be forever. I promise._

"Empty promises will get you nowhere."

_I'm not ready. Not now. Not yet. I don't want to let go just yet._

"You're hurting me with this, Koko."

_And you're not hurting __**me**__?_

"You're being just like a _child_! Stop being so damn _selfish_."

…

"_Koko!_"

…

"You're living in an illusion that's long past its prime, Koko. You _have_ to let go."

_Just a while longer._

"We can't keep this up forever. I'm tired. I love you, but I'm _tired_."

_There's no fear of being hurt if we just stayed as we were. We can still be happy. I'm sure about that. I'll __**make**__ you happy._

"Koko, this is no fictional world. This is no _fairytale_. We have responsibilities, and we are losing time. I can't stay with you if all you are going to do is keep delaying and keeping up this childish and idealistic illusion."

_But I'm not ready._

"Then we'll have to _become_ ready. _Together_."

_And if we fail?_

"We try again."

_I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to do this._

"Then you're leaving me with little choice, Koko. If you can't move forward with me, I'm going to have to leave you behind."

_What do you mean? I just want you to wait for a little while more. Just a little while more._

"I can't."

_I need time._

"And I have none left."

_You've waited ten years. _

"Ten years is long enough."

_But-_

"I'm out of options, Koko, even though what I'm going to do will break our hearts. _This_ was your last chance."

_What do you mean?_

"I'm breaking up with you, Koko."

_You can't do this. I love you. I love you more than the world._

"Evidently you didn't love me enough to become mature for my sake."

_Don't go. I just need more time. Just… More time. I'll do it. But I can't do it now._

"You had your chance, Koko."

_One more chance. Please. Don't leave me. Don't go away. I don't want that._

"I have to. I _need_ to. You'll never grow up, otherwise. I know that."

_I'll grow up. All you need to do is stay with me._

"I've stayed for long enough. I've stayed for _far too long_."

_We can still make this work. What can I do without you? What __**will**__ I do without you? We'll get through this, like all those other hurdles. I just know it. __**Please**__._

"I'm tired of your excuses, Koko. I love you. _I loved you_, but I can't take it anymore."

_I can't live without you. Don't do this to me. Please. Just… Don't. _

"I'm sorry, Koko.

_Sumire!_

"_Goodbye_."

* * *

A/N: _Happy (very) Belated Birthday, and Merry (early) Christmas, buttercupbella. Hope you like my angst offering. I know this isn't anything special, and it's not my best work, but I hope you like it anyway. I tried. ;A;_


End file.
